02 February 2009


Okay so I need a prologue for Brand New Day, now I need opinions. I have two prologues, tell me which one you like the best and what criticism you have for it. Thanks. XD

Have you ever been in danger?. For sure i have and not just once, but many times. My life was in danger the minute I moved to Texas and i didn't even know it. I know danger lurks around the corner all the time, like crazy people trying to kill someone.
But my danger has not been death, but instead becoming a weapon. (Your probably thinking i am crazy right, why would i be any use). I supposedly have something they want, that will help them with their plan, which in a way is to take over the world. I know it's cliche, but they want a perfect society, even if that meant taking away what makes humans human. And i was definitely not going to let that happen or let these people get what i have, whatever it is?
But i had the love of my life and my best friend with me through everything, while of course there were ups and downs, but they wouldn't stop us. How could they?

We were a force to be reckoned with.

And now the second one:

"Sir we're ready," the doctor announce.
"Thank you, let's begin," the Head Director said.

For an hour straight, the two worked endlessly to perfect their plan.
The surgery seemed to go well, along with their upgrade. The chip seemed to take it's course.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" the doctor yelled into the lifeless looking body below him.
"Hm...yes," came from the body.
"Well look at that, Specimen 11 actually worked," the Head Director said truly surprised.
"Now we have figured out how to get it just right," said the doctor enthusiastically.
"Not yet. We must see if the talent is there." The doctor's face fell.
"What can you do 11?" asked the Head Director.

They spent a few hours testing 11 and making sure everything went correctly.
When they came down to a definite conclusion, the Head Director announced to begin the transformation process.
"We will have what we want and we will do whatever it takes to get them here," the Head Director announced to all the Institutes around the World.

Okay so that is it, now which do you like the best? And please give me all sorts of criticism. I know it is a bit weird that I went backwards, but since you all have read it, you can help. XD

And what do you think of the pic? XD


  1. 1. The pic is really cool :) If only we had that weather right now.... so... much... snow!
    2. i like the first prologue better... the other one seems to give a lot more away. The first one also gets you hooked into the story a lot more. The second one (if you haven't already read the story) makes you kind of want to go like... "what?" Hope this helped :)

  2. Hmm... they're both really good, but I have to with the first. And as for the picture, it's AWSOME(sorry, nature freak freak behind this computer.) It actually looks like a picture that me and my dad got off the hunting camera after the bear tore it off the tree. Ohh, and we also got a picture of the inside of it's mouth. Sry, I'm kina rambling on, aren't I? Yes, sorry for that. Oh, just shut up. Sorry, I should probly hit the backsapce right now, but, I'm not.

  3. the pic is beautiful
    i think i like the 2nd one though
    it was really 'catch your attention like'